I considered doing a Google Search for “chirurgien”. In almost every place I’ve used “Chirurgien” as a username, there was bound to be that one person who butchers it on purpose. I’ve been referred to as Churgan, Chirururu, Chiguien, and their less remarkable iterations. It was amusing, at the very least.
Instead, I tried to search for “chirurgy,” the archaic English term for chirurgiae. I don’t know if there’s something special I expected out of that exercise, but oddly enough, I only got 69 results.
It was too late when I realised that I had searched for “chirurgay” in place of chirurgy.
The very first result was a blog entry in Italian. The mutual intelligibility of Romance languages (and the terribly scant knowledge I had of Italian from the time I visited the country almost a decade ago) helped me understand parts of it. At the very least, I got a few chuckles out of what I did understand.
Wanting to read past “Stavo notando una cosa: che la mia facoltà è STRABORDANTE di gay. Conosco più medigay e chirurgay rispetto agli etero…” I ran the rest of the text through Google Translate (and edited it for better comprehension : )
“I was noticing something: that my faculty is overflowing with gay. I know more medigay and chirurgay than heterosexual(s.) And the thing that leaves me especially stunned is the number of chirurgay!!! Many, considering that the surgery has always been, in fact, a big boy thing to homophobes.
But now those who are new surgeons? All women or gay. Stop. In short, things will change in the operating room. TRY TO SEE HOW 😀
So, currently the surgeon is an individual with a beard of various fashions (all bad), that may just burp, he scratches his balls in front of the nurse before entering the operating room and blasphemy to give you a good morning.
WHEN [CHIRURGAYS WILL GRADUATE,] however:
- operating rooms will not smell good, but mostly of betadine essence of violet or lavender,
- the surgeon will be well cared for, shaved, perfumed and polite,
- [the surgeon] will (unnecessarily) fall in love with each nurse and will target all with a smile (in place of the now obsolete and unseemly burp.)
- [the surgeon’s overalls] will no longer [be] green but glittery pink and, needless to say, signed by D & G and Armani
- [his] headphones, instead, have a built-in-radio that will allow our surgeon to follow live the developments of “Uomini e Donne*” ([who] can not sleep if he does not know if Luca kissed Simona [redacated] and how he reacted to the [redacted] that Marika [redacted] Francesco as he made [redacted] from that snob AntonGiulio)
- surgical mask, then, will contain micro-essential oils ginseng and aloe vera to flatten those unsightly wrinkles that appear in the outline and contour-eyes-mouth after a hard day’s work: so that after our kidney transplant, we are presentable for souvenir photos! :D”
I am in no way opposed to gay surgeons, but I found BimboSottaceto‘s postulation of the so-called chirurgay to be quite hilarious. For instance, I’d love to have one of those “aloe vera and ginseng-enriched” surgical masks.
* “Uomini e Donne” is translated to “Men and Women”, a Canale 5 talk show hosted by Maria de Fillipi. According to Gossipblog.it, the show became a cultural phenomenon in Italy in 2001, as a modernized edition of “marriage agency television”.